So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
