So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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