my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
