had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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