More tranny stories later!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
