Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
