The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
