Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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