Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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