Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
