i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
