Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
