I'm eating all of the evidence.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
