Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
