Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She is in my trunk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
