I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
