At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that's an acceptable place to lick
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
