I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
