so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
