he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
