we have officially lost it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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