Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
