do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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