I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
