she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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