Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize