Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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