The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i came on her dog
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Never underestimate the power of titties
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