i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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