When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
