if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
