Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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