it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He felt like a one man threesome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
