she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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