Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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