Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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