They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
