She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I want her autograph on my taint
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
