laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
