The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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