We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
