i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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