Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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