discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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