i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I currently don't understand fingers.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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