why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I still have a little drunk in my system
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry about my life...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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