it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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