Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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