i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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