wanna go halves on a baby?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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