i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How does one acquire holy water?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
