The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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