I'm so fucking centered right now
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
