His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
