I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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