Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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