she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
