It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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