So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
