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I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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