Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
