Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
